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| Vol.3.117 | |
Competitive Spousesby Vince PoscenteAuthor of The Ant and the Elephant, Invinceable Principles and The Age of Speed
Oh ya baby. IT'S ON! Approaching a green light, Michelle slowed. When it turned yellow she cleared the intersection. I was left at a red light. She got home first. Another night, in separate cars again, Michelle took NW Highway while I took Mockingbird. She won again. I knew it was affecting our kids when they said. "Daddy, why do you drive like a Grandma?" Is being competitive at home a good thing or bad thing? You want your kids to be protected from the world of hard-knocks as long as possible. We tend to put off the reality it's a world of winners and losers? Yet, we challenge our kids to see who can brush their teeth first. It seems innocent enough then but our two oldest, Max and Alex now compete all the time. So much so, sibling rivalry can turn into sibling war. The adult thing to do is to compete in the spirit of good fun. Being beaten at every single thing, every single time by my wife is fine. I guess. We were on riding our bikes together around the lake just after I got the cast off my broken foot. I couldn't keep up with Michelle. Towards the end of the ride she said, "I'm going to go the longer way," and seemed to giggle as disappeared in the distance. That was okay... Grrrr. According to author and psychiatrist, Dr. Gail Saltz, "Competition can be healthy; it can spur you to try to do your best. Sometimes, however, competition can run amok. If you have insecurities about your sense of identity and talents, then you may feel he's treading on your turf." Insecurities? Me? I don't have any insecurities. Well, actually, maybe a few. One Halloween Michelle and I went to a Cheap Trick concert. She went as A Cheap Trick. I went as An Even Cheaper Trick. I was determined to be beautiful. Michelle doesn't have to try at all. After spending three hours getting ready I came out of the bathroom and the look of horror on our kids faces said it all. My competitive streak had scarred them for life. Truth was, I was scarring EVERYONE. I tried my darndest to be beautiful. Complete with fake eyelashes, painted nails, a sequin dress, high heels, fishnet stockings and long flowing blonde hair - I looked like a gargantuan Wide-mouth Bass lure. I was repulsive. I failed. Despite my let down, it is just the way it is. If you're competitive - embrace it. Do your best. If you don't win, smile and remind yourself - there's always a next time. Maybe I should take my own advice. Except dressing up as a woman. THAT will never happen again. Sometimes its best for everyone's wellbeing to just let go. Until next week, it's full speed ahead,
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© 2010 Vince Poscente. All Rights Reserved. |
The other evening, my lovely, talented, hates-to-lose wife and I ('also competitive') were driving side by side. She looked at me. I looked at her.