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| Vol.3.96 | |
A Faster Way to Simpleby Vince PoscenteAuthor of The Ant and the Elephant, Invinceable Principles and The Age of Speed Imagine what life would be like if other people didn’t try to be right all the time and nobody took anything personally. Here are two versions of the same story. Our sessions went an hour long so we called the restaurant and left a message we’d be late. Seating at 8 pm, we were hungry but in high spirits. Within minutes a woman came to the table and told one of our group that the full reservation for 17 had to be charged. Our host was disappointed but said she understood and would pay. Then the wheels fell off. Our host added that it would’ve been better for this discussion to happen in private. Then the restaurateur said we should have honored our original agreement. Our group was appalled and decided that another restaurant would provide a better experience. As we were standing ready to leave, the grumpy bar tender came over and unceremoniously said, “Get out.”
A group made a reservation three months prior yet wandered in an hour late. None of them seemed concerned. Alas, more customers who don’t care about our business (which we’ve been thinking of selling for months). We turned away potential customers all evening until they got here and then we found out they only needed 11 seats. When our owner informed them that they would have to pay for the full reservation of 17 they criticized the way we acted. They told us they left a message they’d be late but they should have honored our 24-hour policy. Our co-owner jumped in and told them to “Get out!” Here are ideas worth considering: Don’t take sidesAs you read this it’s natural to side with one group or the other. “Taking sides,” as one Palestinian peace activist told me, “means you’re part of the problem.” Let go of being rightOur group’s immediate debrief was about how rude “they” were and how right we were to leave. The restaurant owners were likely affirming how terrible customers have become and how these people “cost us $2,000.” If both sides had been detached from being right things would not have gone south. Each side would have seen the reason for the breakdown in communication and dinner plans would not have been ruined. Is it really that important before, during and after a situation to be right? Wouldn’t finding a simple solution be better? Don’t take things personallyOne of Don Miguel Ruiz’s four agreements is “never take things personally.” Being detached from any imagined personal affronts makes life a great deal simpler. Isn’t simple something we all desire? Now it’s your turn. Spend the rest of this week (day or hour) not taking sides. Let go of being right and taking things personally. You’ll be amazed at how quickly solutions appear and how fast problems evaporate. That’s how I see it (…’cause I’m right ;-) . Until next week, it’s full speed ahead,
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© 2010 Vince Poscente. All Rights Reserved. |
Now from the restaurant’s perspective: